Being Mentally Tough

English: Tim Duncan of the San Antonio Spurs, ...
English: Tim Duncan of the San Antonio Spurs, during the Spurs-Nuggets match on 12-22-2010 in San Antonio, TX. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I came across this and immediately had to share. Credit where credit is due though and it is not my work.. A friend of mine sent it to me, but I do believe the author’s name is Amy ………

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in ways that set them up for success in life. Check out these things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become more mentally strong.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behaviour and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

10. Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people DON’T FEEL ENTITLED to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

13. Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.


Personally, points 7 and 12 stand out to me straight away. Don’t get me wrong. This is a fantastic list, but just to expand on point 7. One of the biggest problems I find when I coach is that most players don’t play present. They’re always concerned about what just happened or what will happen or who’s going to win and why they’re going to win.

The great teams and the great players are able to stay focused on the present moment for every single play. It doesn’t matter that my team-mate turned the ball over, getting mad at him isn’t helping me be at my best, where my team needs me to be. If the referee makes a bad call and I let it get to me, then for those couple of seconds, I am not at my best and am worried about something that will not help me at all.

Worrying about who is going to win the game before the ball is tipped off won’t help me improve as a player or a person.

I challenge you to watch Tim Duncan. Focus on him and zoom in on him during a game and if you didn’t know the score or the situation, you would never be able to tell whether he just made a great play or turned the ball over, whether his team was up or his team was losing. It’s no accident that the Spurs are really successful. Tim Duncan is focused on the present play, and the only play that makes a difference for the entire game. That’s playing present!!

Point 12 – I hate it when you see a player/person that feels they’re entitled to something. Nobody owes you anything. You get what you deserve. If you want something, then go out there and earn it, never expect something, just because someone else has it. What are you doing that they’re not? What are you doing to deserve what they have?

Pick up  copy of Jay Bilas’ book on TOUGHNESS after you’ve finished reading this list. Players, athletes and coaches embrace the list, embrace toughness. Be TOUGHER

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at

Up ↑